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42 Cheeses
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "falcor781" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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05:49 pm
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NIKKI!!
http://www.nba.com/celtics/dancers/bios/nikki.html
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10:55 am
[Link] | I don't get why my brain doesn't function like everyone else's.
Or how I got to be such a pussy.
Man...
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12:16 am
[Link] | MM -- interesting weekend. I spent a majority of it in Lynn of all places, hitting up some bars, hanging out at this dude Mike's house, and at the beach. Also been spending some time with my cool cousin from Portugal who is visiting to go to OzzFest tomorrow.
Lol I'm glad I got out of that :) No metal for me.
But what do I get instead? A trip to the dentist for some more fillings.
I == lose.
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12:51 pm
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Superficial, and then less so.
Today was one of those days where I just needed a cheeseburger.. Like my body said: "GIVE ME CHEESEBURGER NOW BITCH"..
And so I gave it..
Legal Seafoods.. So good.. Came w/ broccoli too so I even got in my veggies ;-)
My diet/exercising has been doing me some good. I don't think I've lost any weight, but I've gained some muscle back in my legs and my tummy has shrunk. That coupled with my tan and meticulous attention to my complexion, I'm looking rather hot right now *shades smile* lol
And now, pushing all that superficiality aside, the world appears to be getting more and more fucked up lately. Middle East is.. I don't even know if war zone is the appropriate term anymore.. More like hell on earth. Crazy weather patterns. Ever greater strains on resources. Not enough money. Not enough time. Too much stress. Weirder diseases. Biggots slowing down social progress (Washington state imposed gay marriage ban). And the scariest: people who believe that if they annihilate themselves and you, they win.. How the hell do you even begin to combat that? It's like you're fucked from the get-go.
Man. So much.
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12:47 pm
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Busy weekend and I pose a question --
Ran around a ton this weekend:
Friday: dinner and movies w/ Josh, then Jeremy+Jade for getting my ass kicked in Amplitude again and attemps to get revenge on Gradius 4. Jeremy made it through the hardest part of the game in level 6 in a few tries, but we ultimately got quite stuck trying to kill the boss at the end :(.
Saturday: lunch w/ sister and cousins, back to their place to play Mario Tennis w/ littlest cousin who is 10. Then long trek to Leominster for the mythical BARN PARTY which included wiffleball, keg after keg of beer, throw-rocks-at-the-guy-in-the-boat-on-the-pond, an actual pig roast, and a live band. After all this, we went to Chopsticks chinese restaurant which was strangely hoppin' for dancing to yet another live band, food, and more drinks
Sunday: Got my ass up early for WATER COUNTRY -- yellow slide == the best. Went w/ sister, her bf, and bf's friends. One of the friends afterwards invited us over for a BBQ which involved burgers and steak tips made using the Newbridge Cafe recipe! After stuffing our faces, we played horsehoes and sat in the dude's outdoor jacuzzi until nightfall at which point we had Carvel ice cream cake.
I can pack a lot in a weekend if I try hard enough :-)
And now the question... Which would you choose: fame or fortune?
Me: Fame. Hands down. I'd rather be known by many for doing something cool than to be alone with a bunch of cash.
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09:45 am
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Back@Work
I had the time of my life in Michigan (of all places) and did many things that none of y'all would expect me to do ;-).
Today I'm back at work.. Blah.
Wish I had more vacation!!!
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09:44 am
[Link] | My sister Nikki has officially become a BOSTON CELTICS DANCER.
http://www.nba.com/celtics/
Nikki's on the top left, looking away from the camera.
Out of an original pool of 1,500 applicants, my sister made the top 21 cut and was handed some roses on stage to signify her position. Luckily too we didn't have to wait too long since she was the 4th number called. So yeah, this is like a big break, one she's been looking for and needing.. Something to finally recognize all the YEARS of hard work (since she was little), sacrifice, and chance she took on getting a degree in dance and leaving home just a few years ago to attend Point Park Univ, one of the top dance schools in the country. She danced in a startup dance company for a year after graduating and since it wasn't going anywhere, she came back home (helps to have a boyfriend here too). And she was hitting a small wall "What am I going to do with myself now?"... And the answer has come.. :-) A door has been opened, and we can only wait and see what wonderous things will happen.
YAY!!!!
...The VIP after party in the BBKing Lounge @ Foxwoods was kinda lame :-P lol.
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02:14 am
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Past few days..
Since my emo post, a bunch of friends have come together and made some serious efforts to push me into going out, being social, and just cheering me up overall...
:-)
It's definitely been good times: poker, video games, booze, the cops coming over while I wasn't home, more poker, food, and the BEACH playin' frisbee.
No more beach hot dogs for you peoples.
But seriously.. Thank you all so much :-) It has put a big smile on mah face.
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09:57 pm
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I gotta dump this out there...
.. I know I do voice some of the issues I have internally on here, but I don't think I've ever said to what extent all of this affects my life.
And first off I need to apologize to some/all of you for being distant or avoidal of hanging out. I know it's being a bad friend, but well... I can't change that. I made the mistakes, and it's hard to break out of this..
I'll try hard to describe it. Sometimes I'm out with a bunch of people and I just feel really distant and lonely, kinda like well I'm here and these people are my friends but somehow I feel like I shouldn't be there or don't belong or feel kinda separated. The other part is that I feel like most everyone is forging their own paths and I'm just not a part of those new paths.
I realize a lot and may be all of this is my own doing so there is no fault here except my own.
A lot of it has to do with this assumption I make that I can't just go and dump whatever shit's going on in my life to my friends fully, because I always feel bad because they've got their own shit to take care of and it's not fair for me to just.. dump. Catch-22 right? I'm gonna feel distant if I don't let people in. A lot of the deep loneliness I've been feeling lately is because I don't have a special someone to say all those things to -- someone who is there and wants to be there for those types of things..
It's taken a more serious downturn lately. I feel more distant than ever, I stay home more often, and my mind is just full of depressing junk with renders me useless. I feel like a cesspool of grossness, and that too keeps me away from people because I don't want to pollute them with this garbage or act like a fool in front of everyone. It's come in other places too -- I wake up with headaches, I have more moodswings, less drive, I'm way more forgetful and absent-minded than I used to be, less up front with people.. You name it.. I've basically been a purebred asshole. And then I'm crazy and neurotic too, thinking that people think these things of me or will think I'm some kinda freak mofo and just say "to hell with this kid".
I sound like an emo bitch :-(, but it's what I am right now.
I'm really at a loss of what to do, because it feels like it's spiraled out of control and I don't really know what's going on. I just know that.. I think I really need some help and some support and love from people that care, and I can just only hope I've not done enough damage to push everyone away...
I don't want to feel empty, lonely, and desolate anymore.
And with all the other bullshit that's happening to people around me: sickness, money problems, and whatnot I feel even more like a loser because I can't get my own shit together when I've got health and a job.
And this is what I think about, and this is what I think of myself.
:(
Current Mood:  distressed
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05:45 pm
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I want to go to Crane's Beach tomorrow
http://www.thetrustees.org/pages/294_crane_beach.cfm
Call me up if you want to come. I'm thinking of leaving sometime around 11am or so -- lunch first is a possibility. I love beaches and have heard good things about this one.
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12:35 am
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A week and a half later..
Feels like I've been on another planet since I last posted. I hit a low, low and have bounced back somewhat, just in time to be on VACATION starting TODAY after WORK.. VACATION = 2 weeks = fun = goodness = happy fun time = a winner is ME.
OKAY. So. What will I be doing.. Well, Come Monday I'll be up in Maine for a few days. And on the 11th I will most likely be @ Foxwood's to see my sister compete in the FINALS to become a BOSTON CELTICS DANCER. Yes, that's right. Mike Sao's sister has beaten out some 1,500 people just by sending in a tape to be in the top 50 competition to become a new Boston Celtics dancer.
I hear there will be a website to vote for your favorite dancer and FOR SURE the link will be posted here. It will be EVERYONE'S MISSION to spread the word like wildfire to ensure that my sister is the most popularest! Get your friends, your brothers and sisters, their children, parents, grandparents, cats, dogs, I don't care what -- my sister needs all the support she can get :-).
And now, back to me. A recent experience got me thinking and for an unrelated reason it made me look in the mirror. All the DDR muscles have melted away and I'm now a rail with a small tummy. My shape is a rectangle instead of the trapezoid (think Chunky bar for the geometrically challenged) I'd like to be. So I started some new things:
- Diet. Lots of proteins, more complex carbohydrates, and less super fatty foods (I'm an Indian food whore so I gotta cut back on that)
- Exercise Legs. Trying to run from my house, around the long way to Oak Grove and back. Mileage = 2.6. Current amount of running capable = ~1.1.. In other words, I'm a giant pussy :-P. But hopefully I'll get there.
- Exercise Arms. Pushups. Pushups suck. But they need to be done. I have dumbbells too and must start using them as well.
The reality is that exercise and me don't naturally get along at all. I don't get immediate gratification from it, I just get pain. It's not like DDR where you sweat and then it gives you an exact breakdown of how you did. The other part is that when push comes to shove I really am a weakling, because I crap out soon after I start feeling pain. It's like my motivation in the moment goes from 95% down to 5%. There's the whole "You gotta want it bad" mentality that's supposed to keep you going, and well, I just don't have that. I just see it as a cycle I need to keep going on in order to become and maintain fitness.
And I'm looking at the clock and realizing I need to get my ass out of bed in like 6 hours so I can be at work for an interview. Another person who gets to surf the wonders of log4j code :-).
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11:21 am
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Where is that 1M game!?
Ahh cursed Robotron -- how you mock me.
After working a bajillion hours last night, I went home and "relaxed" by playing some Robotron. I played four games: 360K, 430K, 200K, and then a doozy: 619K.
Now the 619K game I would say was actually a breakthrough game. No, it's not my highest score, but there were many elements of this game which were either key or things I'd never done before:
- Made it to wave 12 with about 360K on my first man
- Did not die on three consecutive brain waves: 5, 10, and 15; something I've never done before.
- Had just under 600,000 after wave 20
- Ended on wave 21
What's more interesting about this 619K game is where I lost lives:
- I lost TWO lives on wave 12 (tank wave). This is particularly lame seeing that I'm generally good at the tank wave and that I've cleared this wave in under 3 seconds.
- One life stupidly on 16
- One life on 20, brain wave with two big green guys and two circles that generate enemies
- Last life on 21 which was my own fault for wanting to get points.
So you see, I only lost ONE life on a brain wave in that game. If I hadn't lost the other 4 lives on nonbrain waves, and assuming I didn't die except on brain waves, I would've made it to like wave 40 which means I would've been well into the 1M territory. HOW FRUSTRATING. Of course this doesn't take into account that things get fucking ridiculous after wave 24.. All of the waves start including those tanks from waves 7, 12, 17... etc.. Yes, even on the brain waves there are tanks -- as if you don't have to dodge enough shit as it is.
Drives me nuts when things are so close you can almost taste them!!!!!
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06:14 pm
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Work crunch!!!
That time of year again -- demo season.. Final sprint to make this shit work!!
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09:57 pm
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A festa portuguesa
Today:
Saw my new nephew, Alexander Keaton Anderson. Cute baby! Looks nothing like mom or dad, but looks like me :-). That was kinda neat. We all had lunch at Casa Portugal, a very nice Portuguese restaurant on Cambridge St. in Cambridge; really close to that amazing genius diety all-around nice guy whom everyone should be giving royalties to -- Jeremy. While eating, there was some kinda parade which just sort of surfaced. This parade had no religious connections.. I think it was just a "Hey, we're proud to be Portuguese" parades. I called up Jeremy to come down for a bit and enjoy some of the excitement. He did and met my mom, dad, 1/2 sis, and her husband.. Pretty cool stuff! :-)
Oh yeah -- special thanks to the woman who worked at Gap Kids for helping me pick out the CUTEST baby boy clothes ever. Only the best for my nephew.. Can never start looking good too young :-)
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11:37 am
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BBQ in the house?
Last night was interesting. I got bombarded by like 90,000 phonecalls at once. Then, my cousin came over for a bit to work on the basement and we ended up telling stories about things that piss us off. The whole temper frustration thing definitely runs in the family :-).
So what I ended up doing last night was hanging out w/ Jeremy and Jade. I can't recall having my ass handed to me so badly over and over again in a video game in a long time. Which game? Mario Kart Double Dash. It was a lesson on how to be raped through the buttocksly posterior over and over and over and over again !! Now that was interesting in and of itself, but then things got even crazier.. Here's how:
We were in the bedroom, left the room and went into the kitchen and noticed that the other roommate had started boiling a hot dog but was in his bedroom. We went back in the room, shut the door, and like 45 mins - 1 hr later began to smell something totally funky. Jeremy gets up to see what's goin on and the ENTIRE APARTMENT is filled with white smoke -- top to bottom. We go into the kitchen and find an incinerating hotdog in no water getting massacred. Jeremy turns off the heat, but the damage was done. Smoke everywhere. We opened up the windows and tried to air out the place using Trader Joe's brown paper bags, choking on burning hotdog smoke the entire time.
This leaves me with one conclusion: their roommate is a fool. Bastard probably was trashed and fell asleep. Not impressed.
But definitely made for an interesting evening.
... And who the fuck eats boiled hotdogs anyways!?!?! Shit is nastay.
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08:35 am
[Link] | Not much is new. Not too much at all.
Basement is under reconstruction still -- new sheet rock getting put up to replace the feet of mold growing on the old sheet rock. Was totally wretched.
I'm in a bit of a work crunch; dry run demo due on Monday, but then after that I've got some vacation time I'm taking.. I'm not going anywhere as of yet, so I'll be around just doing nothing fun in particular, except for the fact that some of it I may spend up in Maine, providing that my friends will board me for a few days :-).
Last weekend I saw Sharad since he's moving back to India for business school on Monday. Ran into Billy + Jeremy on Sunday and played Mario Party, Dr. Robotnik Puzzle PuyoPuyo Pupae Pop, Wario Ware, and a smidge of Ikaruga... That was fun!! Jade's room is amazingly pink/purple with a lot of so-cute-it-makes-you-nauseous-dizzy anime parapharnelia.
I'm procrastinating going to work right now, because it's 8:40am and I feel like I got kicked in the face by a fat donkey. Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey to be precise. But alas, the XSLT must be hacked and the code must be written !!!
On another note, I decided that my dream house would have at least eight rooms: bedroom, living room, kitchen, bathroom, one for the vintage arcade, one for billiards, one for the mechanical bull, and one for the jacuzzi.
High Ho The Derry-O out.
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11:51 pm
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The Everything --
Past two weeks have been insane:
1st weekend: Jim's wedding. Best fucking time possible. Met some wonderful people, drank like a fish, partied like there was no tomorrow, and the ceremony was beyond amazing. The perfect time :)
2nd weekend: Funspot tourney. Preliminary results (still double-checking the scores) indicates that Mike Sao won pinball (which I know is true) AND that Mike Sao won Player of the Year for real. We'll wait and see as I don't want a repeat of last year's takin' my crown away..
But this year was a little different. At the end of this competition I kinda felt empty inside. I said to myself "So what." I mean, it's not like I'm curing cancer or anything significant like that.. I'm just playing video games :-/.. And then on my final day off (today), I had to go into work to take care of something. Being away from work for roughly a week and a half is long enough to distance yourself from what goes on inside that society. Coming back in and having a distanced view I was irked to say the least about jumping back in. In fact, I wanted to run away screaming -- I never want to deal with the bullshit, annoyances, and politics ever again. People were saying the same things they were saying a week ago, a month ago, and maybe even a year ago.. And it all boils down to politics..
So yeah.. I feel kinda like a loser right now, and something needs to be done. I'm not sure what, but I need to reach inside and pursue some kinda deeper purpose that has more meaning to me than playing old video games and this job. Mind you the video games are still fun, but unlike some people in the gaming group I know, I wouldn't define myself nor EVER want to be defined by my "gaming abilities".
That and, I need to get hitched and/or laid :-P.
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11:22 pm
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My OkCupid! test
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer
Steady, reliable, and cradling him tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.
Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The men left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal man is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.
While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.
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12:30 am
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Basement update
- Lots of stuff cleaned out
- Wash & dry work
- Video games work!! (YAY!!!!!!!!!)
- Mildew growing on walls
Current Mood:  relieved
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12:22 am
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Politics test
I liked the question "Most people are too stupid to know what's best for them"
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